Buster Green
Motorcycle attorney Buster Green removed the monocle from his right eye and looked at his client, who sat on the other side of his desk. “Well, … after looking at this document, it seems as if they have an air-tight case against you.” As the attorney spoke, the client noticed the faint imprint where the eyeglass had been. Buster had lost the string that was attached to the eyeglass, and now he had to be very careful when he wore it. Buster had a ruddy-looking face because, after all, he rode his motorcycle most of the time. “So, what are my options, Mr. Green?” “Well, … you were recorded by the driver’s cell phone. Your license plate number is clearly visible.” “What the hell is going on here?” the client barked. “Good Citizens Week? Since when do neighbors rat on each other?” “Well, … the driver went to the police station and turned you in,” Buster added. “Never heard of anyone doing that before.” Buster repositioned his monocle and went back to studying the document. The ceiling fan made a whooshing noise, but it didn’t drown out the cars and busses outside. Buster removed the eyeglass and asked the client to describe the event. |
“I was riding my Harley on a lazy, sunny, spring day close to my Malibu home. My headphones were serving up some classic Earth, Wind & Fire, and I was enjoying the warm breeze on my face. “I approached a stop sign and was idling behind a red Honda Accord. After a few moments, the Honda hadn’t moved. I waited a few more seconds, revved my motor, and passed the Honda on the right. “As I went by, I noticed the driver using a cell phone to record me, but I quickly forgot about it. I rode through the stop sign and went on my way.” After a few moments of contemplation, Buster said, “Well, … you can’t argue with the video. The fine for this violation is $238, plus court costs and assessments. If you are cited for failing to stop under CVC 22450, you will pay the fine, do traffic school, or fight the ticket in court.” Regaining his composure and trying to control his anger, the client stood up and extended his hand to the attorney, thanking him for his time. He saw Buster squinting and scrunching his face as he tried to keep the monocle in place. Alone in his office, Buster’s thoughts returned to his most pressing problem: the diagnosis of basal cell carcinoma on the tip of his nose. His wife had pleaded with him to wear sunscreen when he was riding his bike, but he didn’t listen. Now he felt like a fool. His follow-up appointment with the oncologist was in two hours. The plan was to remove the cancerous skin and hope that it hadn’t gone too deep. “Well …,” Buster mumbled nervously as he watched the clock. From Carpet Creatures: Tales from the Deep Pile To join the Carpet Creatures project, please visit our TAE Gallery website. |
